"Power to Act"

I've been struggling lately to love the difficult people in my life. Sometimes, I blame it on hormones or being tired, but when I am truthful with myself I see it for what it is- I am choosing to take offense instead of choosing to love.

Most of the time I'm pretty good at rolling with the punches, but when it comes to something that really matters to me it becomes poignantly personal. I find myself fixating on people's inconsistencies, weaknesses and self-centered inclinations. I think over and over, "How could [so and so] do that?" Often it's even more keen a slight when it's someone older (and supposedly more mature/wise) and/or someone in my sphere of intimacy. I fixate on thoughts like, "You should be more mature. You should know better. You should be stronger. You would never forgive me if I did what you did. You should be more caring/invested/concerned/loving/Christ-like/etc."

Since, I hate brooding and have to do something productive, I started on a quest to find spiritual insight on how I should handle these demoralizing emotions. I came across the LDS conference talk titled, "And Nothing Shall Offend Them," by David A. Bednar. The thing that stood out immediately to me was his categorization of offense taking. He said,

"To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else. In the grand division of all of God’s creations, there are things to act and things to be acted upon (2 Nephi 2:13-14). As sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father, we have been blessed with the gift of moral agency, the capacity for independent action and choice. Endowed with agency, you and I are agents, and we primarily are to act and not just be acted upon. To believe that someone or something can make us feel offended, angry, hurt, or bitter diminishes our moral agency and transforms us into objects to be acted upon. As agents, however, you and I have the power to act and to choose how we will respond to an offensive or hurtful situation."

When I was little I played softball. I used to get really upset when people taunted me when it was my turn to bat. My dad had this saying (that still sounds ridiculous), "Don't let them get your goat." Basically, he meant, "Don't allow people to cause you to loose focus on the ball." He didn't know it at the time (or maybe he was smart like that), but this philosophy has eternal applications. Bednar's quote and my father's advice both point to men and women as beings of power. We are meant to be creature's of action instead of victims of circumstance and/or others' behavior. We are children of God, heirs with Christ and He has called us to be perfect.

"I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you. …

“For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye?

“And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others?

“Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect”

(Matthew 5:44. 46-48)
 

The Lord does not ask of us what he does not think we are capable. And though I am very imperfect, I'm striving to show love to the undeserving and forgiveness to the offensive. I try to act with charity, because as I learn to take less offense and to give out more love I come closer to the perfection the Lord knows I can eventually achieve- the perfection that brings unity, which is the ultimate goal, to be unified in one eternal heavenly family.