Eli - 20 Months

I think we're coming into the "terrible twos." Over night Eli has become defiant and his new favorite word is, "No!" I've learned the best way to get the results I want is to never ask him 'yes' or 'no' questions. I started giving him two options. This makes life a lot easier. I haven't figured out a way to get him to listen when I tell him not to do something, however. He started to experiment with different facial expressions and he now has an evil look he gives me when I tell him 'no.' He seriously looks like a little demon. Sometimes, it's frustrating to see him do the same things I tell him not to do over and over- like throwing everything he touches-, but watching him I really think that he doesn't do it maliciously. He does things spontaneously, without really thinking about what he's doing or it's consequence. I try to get him to say sorry and fix/clean up when he does things that are damaging and I just ignore the rest and hope he grows out of it eventually.


Some of my favorite new Eli words are:
Plappy = Toothpaste
Peeka Lakka = Peter Rabbit
Picka Lee = Despicable Me (He's never seen the movie, but this is what he calls the minions.)
Tor-ta-ti = Tortilla
Suck Duck = Fox in Socks
Shy Nona = Strega Nona
Yucka Pucka = There's a Wocket in my Pocket
Muppa = Mountain


My biggest pet peeve as a parent is when someone calls my son, "bad" or "naughty." He is not bad. He is a toddler. He is trying to learn how to manage his emotions, communicate effectively and control his impulses. All of which, if you think about it, are things most adults are still trying to master as well.


Eli likes Barbies and he likes them stark naked. It all started, because I pulled out a box of my old Barbies and dolls to find some clothes for a doll I'd bought him to practice being an older brother on. He instantly created a bond with Barbies Mulan and Li Shang. (Mulan is probably his favorite movie and it just happened that I liked it enough when I was little to buy two Barbies when the movie came out. Does that age me some? ha) Now he carries them everywhere without any clothes. He's pulled out their hair bands and calls them both "crazy hair Mulan." He gets frustrated when their legs and arms aren't straight and asks me over and over to make them "big," meaning standing straight.

Eli's concept of counting and numbers:
"one" = okay,
"two" = good
"many/more" = ideal.
He is never content with one of anything. If I give him one animal cracker he says, "two." When I give him two he says, "more" or "many."

Eli is going through a naked obsessed phase. He loves potty and bath books with pictures of "naked bum bums" and he thinks any exposed skin is nudity. When David was sworn in as an attorney Eli wouldn't sit still and be quiet. I spent the whole time in the hall or the back of the theater with the other parent's of energetic toddlers. As we were walking past another toddler Eli suddenly reached out and grabbed the girl's chest and screamed in the quiet room, "naked" over and over. She was wearing a droopy spaghetti strap tank top so she wasn't really naked. I was torn between laughing and hiding from all the nasty looks we got- attorneys are not known for their kindness, ha.

We finally turned Eli around to face forward in his car seat. I had wanted to wait until he was 2, but I couldn't handle the screaming anymore. It has made such a big deference and sometimes he's so quiet, looking out the window, that I forget he's even there.


When I'm really frustrated with Eli, I'm tired and just want to be free of being pregnant, I play the "Who loves you?" game with Eli. (It's not really a game- I just made it up.) If we're in the car I turn and look at him or if we're at home I put him on my lap and ask him,
"Who loves you?"

He grins, turns away and says, "No!"

I say, "Does mommy love you?"

Another grin, turn, and "No!"

"Who else loves you?"

"Dada"

"Does daddy love you?"

Grin, turn, "No!"

Etc.
We go through everyone and everything I/he can think of. By the end we both feel calmer, he's said about a million 'no's', which makes him happy and we're both reminded that we really do love each other and are ready to press on with our day.

Eli has a good memory. He retains so much of what he hears and sees. My husband likes to quote lines from Eli's books and Eli tells him what book it's from. He beats me almost every time, especially when it comes to Dr. Seuss books, which all sound the same to me.

Eli is going through an extreme phase of stranger/separation anxiety. If someone looks at him while in line at the store he screams, "No! No! No!" followed by "Mama!" and then he desperately clings to me. In church nursery he all of a sudden has a hiccupping meltdown every time I walk across the room. (I've been a nursery worker since he was 10 months old and he's always enjoyed it until now.) Several times a day whether we're out or at home he runs to me and desperately says, "cuddle" or "hug" and needs to be held for a few seconds (or minutes) before feeling content again.

He is starting to pray. We help him and he mostly just says gibberish until the end when he says proudly, "all done." He likes to identify Jesus in pictures and he calls the prophet, "papa." (A name that he also uses for both his grandpa's, his British grandma and this old man at church who's nice to him.)

He loves looking at books and being read to. I try to cultivate this interest by going to reading time and the library every week. We always have lots of picture books checked out that usually have something to do with dinosaurs, sharks, monsters, balloons, fire or zoo animals. I love seeing which books will capture his interest. The chosen few will be "read" on repeat until they need to be returned. His favorites right now are 'Shark vs Train' and 'Strega Nona.'



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