3 months, baby!

I thought becoming a mother would cause a drastic change in me, but I don't feel any different. It's kind of like as a kid when you wait for weeks for your birthday only to find that being 10 isn't all that different from being 9.

I hear crying like a cellphone addict hears their phone beeping. I jump out of bed in the middle of the night, put my robe on and run to Eli's door and there's no crying. I'll repeatedly ask my husband, "Do you hear the baby?" Nope, it's only in my head.

Once or twice a week David will watch the baby so I can get some alone time. I try to act calm and collected as I get myself ready to go, but as soon as I'm out the door it's like a weight is lifted and I am free. I skip to my car, buckle myself in, turn up the radio. You'd think I was driving the hottest car around by how aggressively I go through the gears in that little beetle. It's not that I don't like my baby, it's just really nice not to have to think about when he last ate, if he needs a diaper change or keep watch over him when he's awake and soothe him when he gets fussy.

I never realized how many people like babies. I find it really difficult to keep him away from random strangers who come up to us and want to touch and coo at him. Also, children love him. They flock to him from everywhere. I'll be in Walmart and children in their parents cart will say over and over, "I want to see the baby." We'll be going for walks and when we pass kids they have no inhibitions about telling us how beautiful our babies feet are (random I know, but it's all they can really see when he's in his carrier) or how cute his hands are. Even boys are attracted to his smallness, which I hadn't expected. One 7 or 8 year old boy followed us around for a bit the other day and kept telling us how beautiful our baby was. And there's a little girl in our ward who asks me about 10x every Sunday if she can hold him. She seems germ-y, so I don't let her.

I can't watch anything to do with babies getting hurt or dying without tearing up and feeling momentarily anxious that my baby will die too. Also, I used to think about all the things I wanted for my son, but now that he's here with us I really don't care if he is super smart or successful or brilliant at anything. I just want him to be healthy and happy. I know that sounds kind of like the thing you're supposed to say, but I'm so surprised how noncompetitive I feel in regards to my baby. I just let him do his thing, hope for the best and love him to pieces.

ELIJAH...

- started drooling
- likes women better than men
- is afraid of loud noises- especially the vacuum, tin foil and sneezing
- is in the 90% for height and 59% for weight
- wants me to sit him upright or stand him up
- is very interested in his hands
- is a good sleeper
- is very ticklish
- gives himself hickeys on his wrists
- started watching us very intently, especially when we're eating
- laughs and squeals
- loves attention
- likes going for walks and to the store
- loves bath time
- doesn't like being in his carseat