My Babies and Me

I really love my sweet Eli. He is very affectionate and sensitive. He has quite a broad emotional awareness and his gentle nature and quick understanding are a joy to be around. He may look every bit like his father, but so far his personality leans very much my way.

He loves animals and has quite the attachment with his Panda. He asks for cuddles a hundred times a day and he holds my hand when we go out. When he wakes up from his nap he lays on my lap and asks me to rub his back or tummy. Everywhere we go people are always very interested in him. He makes direct eye contact with them and uses very crisp, clear words when talking. He speaks his mind boldly and even when he's being cheeky people seem to find him enchanting.

He's starting to sing. He loves playing pretend. Just about anything can be pumpkin pie, chicken or a fire: wood chips at the park, leaves, rocks, bits of fabric/leather or paper. He thinks doctors are synonymous with suckers. He likes washing and brushing his animal's and doll's hair. He cries as if he'll never be happy again when we have to wash and dry Panda. He runs and hides whenever I need to change his diaper or get him dressed. He remembers everything! We can't trick him or hope he'll forget. He quotes books all the time. He remembers people's names, what they were wearing last week and what they did and said to him in previous weeks. When he comes home from being out with daddy, he knocks and the door and screams, "Mama" until I answer. He then leaps in my arms and tells me everything he and daddy were doing- often 2 or 3 times. He refuses to eat any sort of vegetable and if we try convincing him to try something he starts to gag. He really likes Book of Mormon stories and he's always "baptizing" his toys.
Elijah doesn't want to be a big boy. He wants to be the baby.

 

The last few weeks I've been really happy. I've made a big effort to spend quality time with Eli and my husband instead of focusing on the rush of the season. This was the first year I bought most everything online so I wouldn't have to fight the chaos of the shops. It was the best decision I could have made. I spend my days taking things slowly and making my efforts count towards the showing of love or building up of stronger relationships. I'm exhausted all...the...time and I'm showing every sign of coming labor, but my hope is to last through Christmas. After that Baby #2 can come anytime.

This pregnancy has gone by so quickly. I feel like a stronger person than I was with my first baby. I have very little fear and I am not weighed down by other people's (unsolicited) advice. This time around I've taken more control of who visits and when so as to have a more positive and uplifting experience. (I hope.) I really want this experience to be centered on the love of our growing family. I find the most peace by simplifying, taking one day at a time, staying positive, letting the difficult days roll away leaving a cathartic healing and finding beauty in the ordinary and repetitive. I'm pretty good at being happy in my circumstances, but I am easily drained by negativity and contention. 

As I've prepared for this baby during the Christmas season I've reflected a lot on the mother of our Savior. I wonder how she felt? I consider the strength she must have had to give birth far from family and anything familiar, after traveling on a donkey for days and in a barn. I dwell on the beauty and intimacy the experience must have brought into the relationship of Mary and Joseph. And I feel empowered by the knowledge that the same peace the Lord must have offered her can also be mine.