Romance

"Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

When I try to kiss you

Baby Eli does too."

(We're into homemade cards- this is David's Valentine's day card to me this year)

When I was in 8th grade my two week long "relationship" with a boy named Sean happened to overlap Valentine's day. In his desire to prove his everlasting love he asked me what I desired most for Valentine's. It was a very serious matter to a pair of kids who would never so much as hold each other's hand. At the time it was cool in school if on V-day you had an assortment of teddy bears, chocolates or flowers. I, however, wanted none of it. I simply asked for a hand written love letter. To me that was real romance.

Over the years I've thought a lot about what it means to be romantic. When we were newly weds, without a child, every day was exciting and we did whatever we wanted. We were absorbed with each other and it was sexy. On ordinary days now I don't run around dressed up ready to go out to a nice dinner. My counter isn't covered in bouquets- more like dishes- and love hearts don't litter the whole apartment- spatters of baby food do. I'm usually wearing hole-y jeans, moccasins and a thick knit sweater. My makeup probably hasn't been done and my hair is most likely in a somewhat greasy ponytail. Sometimes, I stop and think, "How can my husband be into this? How is this attractive? What has happened to me? I'm the killer of sexy." After a little time- and a good bath- I'm reminded about what real romance is.

Romance is hurrying home after a long day to help make dinner.
Romance is stopping what you're doing to look your lover in the eye when he talks.
Romance is offering to put the baby to bed.
Romance is taking long walks and talking about everything that's on your mind.
Romance is being creative.
Romance is asking your lover what he's thinking.
Romance is a real, sink into you hug.
Romance is confiding your fears.
Romance is speaking well of your lover in public.
Romance is in a spool of thread.
Romance is being a tease.
Romance is a knowing look from across a crowded room.
Romance is getting up at night to comfort the baby so your lover can sleep.
Romance is in a poem.
Romance is in a word of affirmation.
Romance is in a surprise.
Romance is forgetting the chores to spend time together.
Romance is a slow dance.
Romance is chasing you down the hall.
Romance is a hello kiss.
Romance is being spontaneous.
Romance is raspberries and french bread when you'd rather have asian.
Romance is hemming his pants.
Romance is playing with her hair.

Romance is the little things that you do every day that to the rest of the world seem small. It's the things that build a relationship and it's the things that say, "I see you" and "I understand." It's in kindness and in the often unnoticed acts of service. Romance is different than sex- it is what creates lovers.

I'm am so grateful that I took a chance and married my husband. It was a choice that has brought me so much happiness. He makes me feel safe. He is gentle to me and kind. And he makes me feel more loved than anyone else on earth. He is my best friend and my partner in this crazy thing called parenthood. He is my greatest romance.